My culinary skills are about as varied as a picture of a polar bear in a snowstorm, but I do occasionally manage to muster up the energy and brainpower to cook something other than pasta with tomato sauce. I make up my own recipes mainly because I don’t know how to use spices because I’m a pioneer in the field of the culinary arts. At the end of the summer, I think I’ll write a cookbook and call it ChemE Cooking: Dinner Engineered. All the recipes will take less than five ingredients, cook in less than twenty minutes, and taste just like all the ingredients have been thrown into a frying pan/pot/oven and then had the life cooked out of them. No salmonella here!
As a preview of my soon-to-be-bestselling cookbook, here are some of the featured items. First off is lemon chicken paired with baked carrots. To make this highly sophisticated recipe, one simply slices carrots into thin strips, coats them in oil and salt, and dumps them in the oven for about fifteen minutes. Remove them from the oven when they look shriveled. As for the chicken, that is fried in oil for a couple minutes, then a mixture of water, lemon juice, and sugar is added. The liquid is allowed to boil off and reduce until the chicken is
Next is a classic American staple reimagined for a ten-minute cook time: pizza, in toast form, also called pizza toast. In this dish, one toasts a couple slices of bread in butter in a frying pan, then adds tomato sauce and cheese.
Finally, for those nights when one wishes to have a light but elegant dinner, I would suggest the fruit and cheese plate paired with a clear wine. The sweetness of the grapes contrasts with the saltiness of the cheese and crackers specially imported from the United States while all flavors are enhanced by the clear wine, nicknamed by scientists Le Solvant Universel.
Other recipes from this high-class cookbook will include overcooked broccoli, omelets with random vegetables in the fridge, and the peanut butter and jam sandwich.
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