Saturday, October 27, 2018

#DumpsterFire [September 2018]

The title speaks for itself.

September 1, 2018, vs. Portland Timbers, 1-1 T
The first half of this game was shaping up to be a repeat of the Sounders game in July where nothing happened, but then slightly more happened. Scott Caldwell scored his first goal of the season off a rebound from the Timbers goalkeeper after a Kelyn Rowe shot. Not sure if the goal was the highlight or if finding out that his goal song is “Party in the USA” was. The Timbers then equalized from a corner kick. Again, never heard that one before. It was almost cleared off the line, but almost isn’t good enough. Rowe looked pretty good in central midfield, and Juan Agudelo got minutes in the second half. It was another mixed performance from Agudelo – half of the time he holds up the ball and nutmegs defenders, and the other half the ball comes to him and the game physically slows down because he comes to a complete stop to decide what he’s going to do, then he dribbles straight into three defenders.

September 5, 2018, at New York City FC, 0-1 W
For all everyone complains about the Revolution having to play on turf, there is something not quite right about NYCFC’s field, besides the fact that it’s a baseball diamond (they play at Yankee Stadium). The ball did not seem to bounce correctly, and the field feels tiny, though Wikipedia says it’s only 5 yards smaller in length and width than Gillette (110 yds. x 70 yds. vs. 115 yds. x 75 yds., which equals a loss in area of ~10%). The camera crew also kept showing artistic overview shots from strange angles and if I remember right, this was the game where they cut away to closeups of NYCFC players sitting on the bench while the Revolution had the ball multiple times. The non-soccer aspects notwithstanding, the Revolution kept themselves in the game long enough for Brian Wright to capitalize on a rebound to hand NYCFC their first home loss this season. With Wright’s first MLS goal and a shutout from Brad Knighton, who took Matt Turner’s place in goal, New England won for the first time in two months. Would this be the start of another late season playoff push? [Spoiler alert: no.]

September 15, 2018, at Los Angeles Football Club, 1-1 T
In the Revolution’s first trip to California to play LAFC, the air was filled with the drama known as the Lee Nguyen saga. Predictions from Revolution Twitter included all variants of New England being destroyed by not only Nguyen, but also similarly-former Rev Benny Feilhaber. Shockingly enough, neither Nguyen nor Feilhaber scored or even seriously threatened the Revolution. LAFC’s goal was a Revolution “we can’t clear the ball out of the box” special, and Brandon Bye picked up his first MLS goal on a header from a Teal Bunbury cross to equalize late. Not terrible from the Revolution, but still not enough.

September 22, 2018, vs. Chicago Fire, 2-2 T
Another one of those games where the Revolution are kind of in it but not really. Chicago went ahead twice, the second time on a Michael Mancienne own goal1, and Caldwell and Penilla salvaged the draw. New signing Guillermo Hauché made his debut and looked fine. Hauché is the Revolution’s new exciting goal scorer who has never scored a professional goal. File that one under the Most Revs Things to Happen, along with stadium rumors, blind draws, terrible DP signings, and weird vibes.

1It was bound to happen sooner or later. He’d had about three close calls in his past four games and the Revolution fanbase was just waiting for it to happen.

The More Things Change, the More They Stay the Same, September 29, 2018, at Toronto FC, 4-1 L
With the playoffs basically (but not mathematically) out of reach, the Revolution chose this time to self-implode. Penilla opened the scoring for the Revolution, then they proceeded to let Toronto back into the game before the half. It was all downhill from there. The ref even gave the Revolution a chance to pull themselves together by calling a Toronto goal back because of offsides, but the Revolution basically said no thank you and let Toronto score three more times before the final whistle. I’ve stopped being horribly bothered about them losing, but they played like they didn’t care. All I want is to watch some soccer.

In September, the Revolution went 1W-1L-3D for an overall record of 8W-11L-11D. Their goal scorers were the following: Brian Wright, Scott Caldwell (x2), Brandon Bye, and Cristian Penilla (x2). Two recent Superdraft picks who opened their MLS accounts, a central defensive midfielder, and the team’s leading scorer. So the forwards are mostly not scoring and the defensive isn’t defending. And people wonder why this team has problems.

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