#HereWeGoAgain

Back in March, MLS and the Revolution began their 24^th season of soccer. After multiple seasons of rebuilding and feeling like they could fall off the tracks at any time, the Revolution completely derailed with an abysmal 2-8-2 record to start the 2019 season. It started almost promisingly, with a road tie in Dallas to open the season, but that was followed by losses to Columbus, Toronto, and Cincinnati. They were outscored 8-3 in their first four games, and the only Revolution player to score was new signing Carles Gil who (spoiler alert) still looks really good halfway through the season.

In their last game of March, the Revolution finally picked up their first win of the season against Minnesota and looked semi-competent while doing so. Jalil Anibaba scored from service from Gil that New England’s been missing, and Brandon Bye spared Teal Bunbury from adding to his tally of shots that go out for throw ins [yes, throw ins, not goal kicks (he’s at three for the season)] by redirecting a wide shot into the back of the net. Alas, they followed that performance by losses to Columbus (again) and Atlanta before picking up their second win of the season against the Red Bulls. Cristian Penilla got his first goal of the season, and Cody Cropper registered the team’s first shutout.

And then here’s where things got really crazy. First, the Revolution travelled to Montreal to lose 3-0. Next, they travelled to Kansas City to get a 4-4 result in which newcomer Juan Fernando Caicedo got two goals, Bye was sent off for a second yellow card for a poorly thought out tackle, Sporting Kansas City (SKC) was awarded a weak penalty on a foul in the box, the Revolution were given a weak penalty five minutes later for a handball in the box, Gil missed the penalty, rookie DeJuan Jones scored on the rebound, former Rev Krisztian Nemeth scored a brace (side note – he looks good at SKC), and Anibaba was sent off for another unadvisable tackle. So the Revolution finished the game with four goals, nine men on the field, and a point.

They continued their time on the road at the Philadelphia Union and Chicago Fire, where they proceeded to underwhelm even the very underwhelmed Revolution fanbase’s expectations by losing 6-1 and 5-0 in a span of five days. The defense, instead of being simply bad, was awful. Paul Mariner, their color commentator, accused them of not doing things high school soccer teams know to do. The offense, instead of being simply anemic, was appalling. Getting shots on goal going three miles an hour straight at the goalkeeper was an accomplishment.

To the shock of the fanbase, instead of limping like a wounded animal to the end of the season, within a week they fired their coach Brad Friedel, fired longtime general manager Mike Burns, and hired Bruce Arena as head coach and sporting director. And this is where I’ll leave things off for now.