Things Engineers Don’t Say

Rise and shine; 8 am classes are the best!
I get too much sleep.
It was really hard to choose my classes this semester because I had so many choices.
I should take more classes next semester.
Fugacity is my favorite physical chemistry topic.
I love everything about statistical mechanics.

Let’s name all our variables η.  That’s not confusing at all.

We should go faster in class. I understand everything.
Could you write messier? I can read your handwriting.
Taking notes on my computer is really easy. Especially the equations.
Poetry analysis? My favorite.
My essay is too long. I wish it could be single instead of double spaced.
I don’t know why I scheduled a lunch break. Having seven lectures in a row is great.
All labs should be windowless basement rooms lit by flickering light bulbs.
My lab technique is flawless.
I am so ready for the prelim tonight.
The textbook readings were super interesting this week.
I bought all five of my textbooks new and spent less than a hundred dollars.
I read three hundred pages of ancient Greek texts last night in an hour, no problem.
All my problem sets this week were easy and short.
Office hours? I never need office hours to get my problem sets done.
I don’t spend enough time working on my problem sets.
No class on Fridays or Mondays. Four day weekend!
My professor cancelled class. Again.
I have nothing to do tonight. Let’s go to a party.