Letters

Dear Google,

Why is it that the newsletter from Diversity Programs in Engineering at Cornell goes to spam despite me marking it as “not spam” every single week for the past five months but an email informing me that I have won 50,000 pounds – which is 81,420 US dollars, by the way – makes it into my inbox? I guess the sender’s email address of 19378578@mail.com sounded more legitimate than @cornell.edu.

Sincerely,
No regrets for giving mlssoccer.com my email address so I could watch the Revolution on the Free Stream of the Week


Dear Minesweeper programmers,

Solve this:

Sincerely,
If I wanted 50-50 chances I would have played roulette


Dear New England Revolution,

Thank you for finally making the playoffs last season. However, in light of how last season started out, here’s a friendly reminder. On the soccer field, there are two goals. Your goal, and your opponent’s goal.

This is a soccer ball:

The ball goes into your opponent’s net.

Sincerely,
Revolution Fans Everywhere


Dear Peter Jackson,

I don’t care how sturdy dwarves are; nobody falls five hundred feet, gets up, and goes “Don’t worry. I’m fine.” Correct me if I’m wrong, but last time I checked Middle Earth wasn’t No Physics Land.

Sincerely,
F = ma