The Mystery of the Penalty Box Door and the Case of the Empty Net

For the pep band, winter is our busiest season because on top of weekly rehearsals, we play at men’s and women’s basketball and men’s and women’s hockey. This leads to stretches where we have games three days in a row, or, like last weekend, four games in five days. [Let’s face it; this is a good thing because otherwise I’d have no good reason for leaving my dorm room.] There was a rare Monday night basketball game against Radford, which exactly no one in the pep band had heard of. Turns out Radford really is a college in Virginia. For whatever reason they were in the area to play Binghamton and Cornell.

As for the game itself, let’s just say it’s not a good thing when you’re glad your team only lost by 15 points. Cornell looked okay right up until anyone had to shoot, at which point they would drop the ball, throw the ball in the general direction of the hoop, or just flat out miss. Let’s hope this was a Monday night anomaly.

The other three games were all men’s hockey games. The first two were typical ECAC games on a Friday and Saturday night. Friday night Cornell played Brown and at first it did not look like things were going to end well. A few minutes into first period, Cornell had a penalty shot called against them. I saw exactly none last year; this is already at least the second of the season. Brown scored. Cornell managed to tie the game before the end of first period, then picked up two more goals in the second period. And then things got crazy.

With less than ten minutes to go, play stops. The refs and players are focused on our penalty box, which usually means that someone’s gotten a penalty. To see if that’s the case, we wait and see if our penalty box door opens, except that the penalty box door is missing completely. As it turns out, it’s not really missing. It’s just shattered into a million pieces all over the ice. After the glass was cleaned up, play continued. Near the end of the game, Brown pulled their goalie so they could have an extra attacking player on the ice. Cornell scored an empty net goal, and then just to cap off the night, scored one more goal shortly after to make the final score 5-1.

Cornell vs. Yale

The next night, Cornell played Yale, who happen to be last year’s NCAA champions. As it turns out, that didn't matter, because we beat them 2-1 in a game in which Cornell’s only penalty was “too many men on the ice.” Which brings us to the last hockey game.

Following the rare Monday night basketball game was an even rarer Tuesday night hockey game. Not only was the game penalty heavy but there were also some lesser heard penalties called. Including “unsportsmanlike conduct” against a Cornell player for boarding a Niagara player way after the play had been whistled dead. Well, if that’s what they want to call it. Then there was “diving” at least twice, something about “contact to the head,” and “playing with a broken stick.” The last is a penalty because broken sticks can be dangerous, so hockey players are supposed to drop their sticks as soon as they break. In the case of the Cornell player whose stick broke, not only did he not drop his stick, but he then also tried to play the puck with his broken stick. Two minutes in the penalty box, no questions about it.

At that point the score was 3-2, so it was close. Cornell had a two goal lead earlier, but they blew that and were only ahead thanks to a late second period goal. Anyway, they managed to kill off the penalty and make it to the final minutes of the game when Niagara pulled their goalie. The normal frenzy ensued, and the puck bounced around awhile before being saved by our goalie, who, by the way, was not our normal goaltender but a freshman making his first start. (Cornell’s usual goalie had played Friday and Saturday and should be playing again on Saturday, plus the game against Niagara wasn't a league game so I guess the coach was giving the freshman some experience.)

So our goalie drops the puck, lines up a shot, and shoots straight through all the players to score an empty net goal. This is only the third time in NCAA history that a goalie has scored. [Here’s the video. It’s kind of blurry, but you can hear the pep band in the background.] All in a day’s night’s work at Lynah.

Double Trouble

I have come to the conclusion that although there are four academic classes listed in my Cornell student account, I’m really just taking the same class four times. [I am aware that the title of this post is “Double Trouble,” however, “Quadruple Trouble” doesn't rhyme, plus my liberal studies class is a little different. Mass and Energy Balances also has slightly different material, but I take it with all the same people as p-chem and linear algebra (to a lesser extent), so all three might as well be the same class.]

For example, we spent a good portion of the beginning of linear algebra talking about linear transformations because any linear transformation can be written as a matrix that’s multiplied by the vector or object to be transformed, and linear algebra is all about matrices. Meanwhile, in p-chem we were introduced to operators. Some operators are linear. Here’s how to tell if a transformation or operator is linear:

From linear algebra:

Definition: A linear transformation from Rⁿ to R^m is any function T(x) with two properties:

                1) T(u+v) = T(u) + T(v)

                2) T(cu) = cT(u)

From p-chem:

Linear operators

                Â[c₁f₁(x) + c₂f₂(x)] = c₁ Âf₁(x) + c₂ Âf₂(x)

Recently in linear algebra, we were thinking of functions as vectors in the context of inner products and related material.

Been there, done that.

Our linear algebra professor also made this note about inner products.

Don't forget the complex conjugate

And then last week we started our day off in physical chemistry learning about quantum spin and were introduced to the symmetrization and antisymmetrization operators. These operators have eigenvalues of 1 and -1 and work with the permutation operator to form the spin portion of the wavefunction for electrons. We went on to Mass and Energy Balances, had lunch, and ended the day in linear algebra, where the following happened:

We were writing quadratic functions as a vector x multiplied by a matrix A which was multiplied by x.  That’s not too difficult, but in order to apply a theorem we’d been working on, A needed to be symmetric.  Magically, if you call this symmetric matrix B and write B as (A+A^T)/2 + (A-A^T)/2, B will be symmetric.

The professor told us that the first matrix (A+A^T)/2 was symmetric, so naturally I made a comment to my friend about how (A-A^T)/2 should be called antisymmetric, in light of what we’d done earlier that morning in p-chem. I was completely kidding, but the next words out of the professor’s mouth were something along the lines of “and the second matrix is antisymmetric.” I’m not sure of his exact phrasing because all the ChemEs in linear algebra were too busy laughing, groaning, and/or crying in despair. ChemE is taking over our lives.

Rise and Shine, It’s Pre-enroll Time

My latest poetry anthology will be coming out next month decade never. Preordering can be done by sending cash or checks to

Pre-enrollment is always a fun time, because somehow, with the hundreds of classes Cornell has to offer, everybody wants the same three courses. Unless you’re an engineer, in which case, you get to enjoy popular classes like Stochastic Hydrology and Unconventional Natural Gas Development from Shale Formations. Meanwhile, in the hotel school: Introduction to Casino Operations.

Last week I made it through pre-enrollment and got almost everything I need to help me toward graduation. To keep moving toward fulfillment of my liberal studies requirements, I’ll be taking Intro to Macroeconomics. There were a couple other classes I was interested in, but none of them fit into my schedule. Macroeconomics it is.

For my biology requirement, I’m currently enrolled in Biomolecular Engineering, which happens to be a ChemE class, taught by a ChemE professor. From what I've heard, this is a pretty interesting class.

I was told how to fill the remainder of my schedule by the School of Chemical and Biomolecular Engineering. I’ll be taking Fluids and semester two of physical chemistry. If I never see the Schrodinger Equation again . . .

I’m also supposed to be taking a physical chemistry lab. Supposed to being the key words. There are currently around 170 students enrolled in Honors Physical Chemistry I. Presumably, most of them will be moving on to Honors Physical Chemistry II next semester. Strangely enough, there were only 120 lecture slots open in p-chem II. Even more strangely, there were only 90 slots open in p-chem lab, so I got the lecture, but not the lab. I think there’s a good reason the chemistry department does this. Just so long as I get the lab at some point, because I would like to graduate . . . eventually.

Ignoring the p-chem lab, pre-enroll went well. No one wants to take Fluids with the ChemEs for fun? Well, that’s a shocker.

Are You Gonna Be My Girl?

As strange and unlikely as it may sound, I get asked this question every few weeks. Sometimes twice in a week. My top answers are “Only Time Will Tell,” “Call Me,” and “Hold On, I’m Comin’.” If you’re thinking that my capitalization needs work, good catch. All of the above, including “Are You Gonna Be My Girl?” are songs in our pep band folder. I have never been asked “Are you gonna be my girl?” in real life because I do not live in a bad 80s sitcom, contrary to what my pep band folder may indicate.

Though I would take bad 80s sitcom over most of what’s on TV today, notable exceptions being Jeopardy!, Sherlock, The Legend of Korra, anything involving the Revolution, and the Spanish channel. Just for fun, last year I calculated the average release date for most of the songs in our pep band folder and it came out to be around 1978. The oldest song we have, not including the Alma Mater and “Anchors Aweigh” (which we play when Army comes to Cornell), is “Basin Street Blues,” from 1926. The newest that I found was “Some Nights,” released in 2012 by Fun.

So hockey season is in full swing, meaning that the band will be busy pretty much every weekend from now until post-winter (known in more southern climates as “spring”). This past weekend we had two women’s hockey games and the men’s basketball home opener.

The women’s hockey team beat RPI 3-1 and Union 8-1. I discovered I can put my pep band shirt on over my fleece jacket, which is nice because it’s cold in Lynah when we’re not surrounded by 4000 other people. The crowds were decent for the games, but for women’s hockey the band stands on the opposite side of the rink from the main crowd. The point is, it’s cold.

The RPI game was either a little lacking in offense or the teams were evenly matched, because the score was pretty low as far as women’s hockey goes. The Union game, on the other hand, was a fairly high-scoring affair for Cornell. One of the most exciting goals from the weekend came in the first period of the RPI game. Cornell had a 1-0 lead and as the clock was counting down, one of the Cornell players took a shot. The puck hit the net just as the buzzer sounded. This was closer than the time Cornell scored with one second left in a playoff match to win the game.

By this point, the band had already played Davy (the fight song) and the teams were leaving the ice. The goal, which had been up on the scoreboard, was taken down and the referees went to review the play. Well, then, did the band play Davy for the end of the period or for the goal? Both. Because as it turned out, the puck crossed the line with one tenth of a second left on the clock. We knew it was a goal the whole time. Really.

Women's hockey vs. Northeastern a few weeks ago

Sunday afternoon we went to the men’s basketball home opener against Loyola, and other people actually showed up, unlike that one women’s basketball game. . . .  The team started out well, but throughout the game the score stayed close. Cornell actually went into the final minute of the game down by several points. They made a basket, bringing them within two points. In Cornell’s last play of the game, one of the Cornell players goes up to shoot, and misses . . . but gets fouled. Two free throws. Newman Arena is getting excited. The player makes the first shot, then makes the second. Loyola has time for one desperation shot, which they miss, sending the game into overtime.

Basketball overtime rarely happens, due to the nature of the game, but it happened on Sunday. Cornell stayed with Loyola until the final minute, but in the end, they missed a couple shots, didn't block a couple others, and lost 89-93. Definitely ranks as one of the craziest finishes to a game I've seen. Between basketball overtime, a couple slam dunks, and hockey, it was an exciting weekend for the band.

And I did this to my clarinet mouthpiece:

Fortunately I have a spare.

(If you don't know what a clarinet mouthpiece is supposed to look like, here's my spare.  Specifically, look along the top edge of the mouthpiece. That v-shaped dent in the top picture? That’s where it chipped off completely.)

The College Student’s Guide to Laundry

Before I begin this post, there are a couple things to note: If I’m giving unsolicited advice, it’s probably 1) terrible and 2) not to be taken seriously. If I’m asked to give advice, it may still be terrible, but you can at least take me seriously. This post falls under the first category of advice (that of unsolicited nature).

The first step in doing laundry is deciding whether or not you need to do laundry. This can be determined using several methods. One: the ratio of clothes in your laundry basket/floor to clothes in your closet/dresser is undefined. Two: You have no clean socks. Three: Your cleanest pair of pants has grass stains, mud stains, and an indeterminate food stain.

Once you have determined that you do in fact need to do laundry, move on to the next step. Gather everything that needs to be washed. Take your laundry, detergent, and method of payment to the laundry room. In your laundry room, proceed to throw all your laundry into a washer and add detergent. Sorting is unnecessary because your entire wardrobe consists of jeans* and t-shirts. Pay to start the washer, then choose the one setting that’s been allowed to remain on the washer (dark colors, colors, whites, etc.). Since you didn't sort your laundry, choose colors.

Wait forty minutes, then return to rescue your damp and presumably cleaner clothing. At this point, throw all your laundry into a dryer, pay more money to start the dryer, and choose how warm you would like your clothing at the end of the drying cycle. Your options are hot, very hot, and superheated.

Another forty minutes later, it’s time to remove your clothing from the autoclave dryer. Depending on which heat setting you chose, you may or may not need protective gear to collect your clothing. At this point, you can bring your freshly laundered clothing back to your room, where you have between one and three days to fold everything.

Indicators of laundry success include: articles of clothing coming out of the process the same color as they went in (hey, at least the stains didn't get any worse, and now they’re clean stains), everything smelling better than it did before laundry, and not losing any socks.

*I actually don’t own any jeans, but I still don’t sort my laundry.

Trick or Treat?

Halloween celebrations on the chemical engineering front included, but were by no means limited to a two hour mass and energy balances prelim and the hardest physical chemistry problem set of the semester. I also had an essay to write and there was another problem set due for people taking Networks. All things considered, it was a fun night for the chemical engineers. Except not.

I had actually not procrastinated horribly since I knew that I’d have the prelim and then have to finish two assignments afterwards. I was almost done with the p-chem problem set and I’d started the essay earlier in the day. Yes, I wrote the entire essay the day before it was due . . . don’t tell my TA. As I mentioned recently, however, nothing gets done quickly in Mathematica.

So after a day of classes, giant tree broccoli (I had steamed broccoli at two different dining halls that day and both times the broccoli was the size of my palm.), intermittent essay writing, eigenfunctions, and last minute studying, I arrived at the mass and energy balances prelim with my pencil, calculator, note sheet, colored pens, colored pencils, and ruler. Besides the multiple choice questions, I didn't think it was horrible (I may change my mind when I get the graded prelim back). I spent way too much time arguing with myself about the multiple choice questions, then went to check the rest of the test with about half an hour remaining.

I was going through the third question when for some reason I thought I should check the chemical formula for butane, just to confirm I had it right. I turn to one of the data tables we’d been given and look up butane. C_{­­­­­4­}H­_10­­. I look at my prelim. C­_3­H_­8­. Wait, what? My first thought: unprintable. My second thought: also unprintable. With twenty minutes to go, I had to rebalance my combustion reaction, then change pretty much every single number in the problem.

The icing on the cake is that I finished with a few minutes to spare, checked problem four, and I realized that all my units were wrong. Fortunately, I was working with ratios so the numbers didn't change, but there’s kind of a big different between 10 grams of a drug and 10 kilograms of a drug.

After all that, I got to go back to my dorm and finish my essay and wrangle some operators into commuting*. We were supposed to prove that the commutator between the x and y components (L_x and L_y) of the angular momentum operator was nonzero and equaled -ihL_z. After expanding L­_x and L_­y­, the book, and most internet sources would say something like “and after simplifying, this obviously equals -ihL_z."  Somehow, I don’t think that’s what my professor was going for. I finally found the technique I needed to fully expand the commutator into sixteen separate terms, fourteen of which I promptly crossed out because they equaled zero.

*Operators are rules that act on functions, like take the derivative of a function or multiply a function by three. If you have two operators named  and Ĉ acting on a function f(x), the commutator is the difference between doing Â, then Ĉ on f(x) and doing Ĉ, then  on f(x).

My Thursday night continued well into Friday morning. I think I got to sleep before my brother, but Chicago’s an hour behind Ithaca. Minor detail.

Overall, no treats on Halloween, but I insist that the first question on the mass and energy balances prelim was a trick. I didn't dress up for Halloween, but there was a discussion earlier in the week about me being an operator, because I wear a hat, just like operators. . . . Why yes, I do spend a lot of time with other ChemEs. Other costume ideas included being an equation sheet (for the mass and energy prelim) or a process unit. Hey, if we got the whole class to participate, we could reenact chemical processes. Who wants to be the condenser?

Playoff Soccer

I would really like to title this post PLAYOFF SOCCER!!! but that would probably scare off my three remaining readers. The fact remains, however, that the time has come for the New England Revolution to return to the MLS playoffs for the first time since 2009. Thanks to the MLS Free Stream of the Week, I got to watch the Revolution’s last game of the regular season against the Columbus Crew. This game not only closed out their regular season, but also determined whether or not they would have a postseason.

Going into the final weekend of regular season play, the Revolution, Houston Dynamo, Montreal Impact, Chicago Fire, and Philadelphia Union were all fighting for three playoff spots. Both the Union and Impact lost on Saturday, putting the Revolution, who were playing on Sunday, in a favorable position to make the playoffs. Right before the Revolution played, the Dynamo won their game, meaning that the Revolution had to win to advance to the postseason.

This was the game I got to watch. It was mildly terrifying, but midway through the first half, the Revolution scored. Somehow, they held on to the lead through the second half. Then the amount of stoppage time went up on the scoreboard. Some background as to why the next part is significant: a couple weeks earlier the Revolution were playing the Red Bulls. They were leading 2-1 when a Red Bulls player pushed a Revolution defender into his own goalkeeper, causing the defender to be sent off the field to receive treatment to stop the bleeding. That’s standard procedure – if a player is bleeding, he can’t be on the field playing. What wasn't standard was that the injury occurred during stoppage time, which then ran on to seven additional minutes of play. Seven. Not the usual three or four. Seven minutes. During which the Red Bulls scored an equalizing goal, leaving the Revolution two points farther from a playoff spot.

After that debacle, we come to the end of the Crew game. Knowing that anything less than a win would leave them out of the playoffs, the Revolution were a few short minutes away from claiming a playoff spot. Or so they thought. Stoppage time comes up on the board: eight minutes. Apparently, there was a great reaction from the Revolution bench, but it wasn't on the broadcast. The amount was completely justified by the number of injuries and substitutions, but the potential for disaster was high. Then, approximately seventeen thousand long balls and no goals later, the final whistle sounded, sending the Revolution into the playoffs for the first time in five years.

Tonight, the Revolution take on Sporting Kansas City. They have not scored against Sporting KC in the last 501 minutes the teams have played. Let’s hope they don’t make that 591.

As for me, I played a little playoff soccer of my own for my house team a couple weeks ago. In Cornell intramural soccer, any team that finishes the regular season winning at least half of their games moves on the playoffs. We finished the season undefeated, so we got to take part in some playoff games. Our first game was on a Sunday, our usual playing day, and we won that game. We figured that our next game would be in a little while, but on Tuesday morning I was checking the weather and my email before leaving for class and there’s an email from one of the players on our house team. Upon opening the email, I discover that our next playoff game is not, in fact, in awhile, but that evening.

The most surprising part of this whole endeavor was that not only did we find enough players for the game, but for the first time, there were also enough girls to make substitutions. Honestly, I think the games are too short to really need subs, but it’s the principle of the thing. So both teams get to the field and have enough males and females to play. As the game progresses, it appears that this will be our hardest match yet, and sure enough, the other team scores near the end of the first half.

Sadly, we could not overcome the one goal deficit and ended up losing the game, which knocked us out of the playoffs. It wasn't the fact that we lost that was disappointing. I didn't really care about that, because it’s intramurals. It was the fact that it meant our season was over and we wouldn't get to play anymore. Anyone up for a snow soccer league?

With that, I just have one more thing to say on the subject of soccer: Let’s Go Revolution.