Tales from the Trenches

Disclaimer: I am not making fun of any of the people in these stories, except for myself. There is exaggeration and dramatization involved and my purpose is to tell some mildly amusing stories about life at Cornell.

They Think It’s Summer:
Last “spring” at the end of March or so when it was finally getting warm I was working a shift for Cornell Productions. We were setting up the sound system when we discovered that one of our adapters didn't work. I was sent back to the office to find another adapter. Since I had just been hauling sound equipment up stairs, I didn't bother to put on a jacket and I was wearing shorts because it was over 40°F. As I was on my way to the office, I passed a family who was visiting Cornell (in jeans and jackets). The father was commenting about how the Cornell students seemed to think the weather was warmer than it actually was just as I walked by (in shorts and a t-shirt), prompting him to exclaim, “See, they all think it’s summer!”

Veterans of the Dining Hall Lunch Line:
My house on West Campus got tickets to Thanksgiving lunch up at one of the North Campus dining halls. Since it was free, I decided to sign up to go. By the time we got there, there were long lines for the food, which was set up buffet style like most dining hall meals. It was the slowest non-specialty-station line I have ever been in. I stood behind a girl who was so absorbed in her phone that right after her friend offered her a tray, she nodded and left the line . . . to go get a tray. I stood in front of a woman who muttered under her breath for five straight minutes about how the line was forming in the wrong place before asking people to move. Then she continually walked into me with her purse. As I approached the front of the line, it became clear that the majority of the people in line were new recruits to the dining hall lunch line. There were children who needed to be asked three time whether or not they would like stuffing, and adults who did not know just the right amount of force to use to get the mashed potatoes to un-adhere to the spoon, and others who cared about their corn and gravy touching. Corn and gravy is nothing. Broccoli and syrup, on the other hand, is a little less than great. I stormed through the line, then settled down to eat my rice mixed with corn stuck to the candied sweet potatoes.

You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet:
It appeared on the “Overheard at Cornell” Facebook page during the last week of classes that a parent on a tour was heard telling her son, “See, it isn't that cold.” The weather this past fall was as freakish as usual, and the day they were touring Cornell, it was 60 degrees and sunny at the end of November. (Yes, I obviously wore shorts to class.) The next day, it dropped back down to high 30s. The day after that, it snowed. Then it snowed again, and finally everything froze.

10, 15, 32, Which Bus is Right for You?:
Finally, a story that features none other than . . . myself. It is indeed a story about the bus, as you may have guessed from the title. A friend and I needed to go to Wegmans before Thanksgiving break to get food. We were going to go in the afternoon, but another friend wanted to come and he couldn't leave until after 6 pm. I checked the bus schedule and we’d still have enough time if we left after 6, so we all decided to take the bus from West Campus at 6:09 pm. At 6:15, the bus pulls up. We get on and get to the Commons at 6:30. Eleven minutes after the bus that we were supposed to transfer to left. I had thought that there would be more than enough time to transfer, but apparently Trip Planner had us getting to the Commons at 6:18 and catching the next bus at 6:19. The next time that bus would be coming around was in, oh, fifty minutes or so. We decide to walk the rest of the way to Wegmans. By the time we get to Wegmans, it’s about 6:50, so there’s no way we’re going to catch the 7:30 bus. We hang around until 8:30 and catch the last bus of the day back to the Commons, where we have to decide if we want to stay on the bus or see if we can catch another bus going back to Cornell that will drop us off closer to where we live. Never mind. The other bus has stopped running for the night. Staying on the bus it is. When we get back to campus, we have to go down the slope and cross the entirety of West Campus where we split up to go to our respective apartments/dorms. And that is the story of how I went to Wegmans on the bus on a Tuesday night.